Tuesday, May 8, 2012

For all the Teachers...

I usually don't like forward emails, but I got this at work the other day and it made me laugh...especially after testing week!  I hope you all enjoy!

The following questions were set in last year's GED examination.  These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............OH DEAR!

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large  pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.  

Q. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.  

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination?

A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow                 

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized? (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U..                                                                 

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium   

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?

A. A Roman Emperor.      

Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport.   

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight  

Here are a few of my favs...hahaha....
  • If you want to buy a house, you must be well endowed (you can always tell a fibula though)!  
  • If you don't want to get a girl pregnant, wear a condominium.
  • If your carpet isn't staying on the stairs, get some steroids.



1 comment:

Sara S. said...

Oh my goodness. I was laughing so hard I was crying! My favorite was the "benign" one. Thanks for a good laugh!

Sara :)
Smiling In Second Grade